Thursday, February 12, 2009

V. D. It Really Is A Social Disease

Oh, the dreaded V. D. The time of year when singles cry, protest, or pretend and coupled people pour money into the economy on frivolous junk. Valentine's Day.

I'm not a hater nor am I full-fledged participate-or of this wonderfully, commercialized holiday. I have had good Valentine's Days and I have had awful, disgusting Valentine's Days in the past. However, most often it is the one time of year that I can expect to see a package in the mail with new heart colored underwear or pajamas that my mom thought were cute.

That's right. To me, Valentine's Day always undies and sleepwear. For the past two decades, my mother has purchased Valentine's Day Panties and PJs for my sister and me. She called yesterday to say that she had mailed our V.D. cards. That means in mere days, I'll be wearing new undies while I blog. Yippppeeee! Won't The BoyFriend be happy then.

Speaking of The BoyFriend. He tiptoed around the subject of Valentine's Day plans the other day. Last year was our first V.D. together. I emphatically told him then that this was to be treated like any other day. I didn't want him going out of his way to do anything that required financial payment or was over the top. My thoughts on the matter...we just had Christmas and my birthday is right around the corner. Granted, I did buy him a card, and did so this year, but I don't see the need to be extravagant on just one particular day. Last year he did place a Valentine's Day card in a parking ticket envelope and placed it on my car in the middle of the night. I thought that was hysterical after I got over the initial panic.

I was simply glad that it wasn't anything like the VD of 1997. The College Ex and I had been together for quite some time by that point. We weren't living together, but we did spend a great deal of time together. I was in love. I thought we were in love. He managed to provoke a huge fight on 2/13. Quite convenient in retrospect. We broke up. (Found out a few years later, he had a date that night. He had a bit of an extra curricular activities problem.)

Nonetheless, the morning of V.D. I woke up to a stuffed monkey with a back pack on sitting outside of my door. In the back pack were 5-10 airplane liquor bottles and a card from him-not apologizing for being a douche, but rather telling me to tie one on. I still can't quite get over that one. Like an idiot I ended up getting completely shit-wasted, ordered Papa John's Cheese Sticks with the Cheese Sauce, threatened the pizza guy all while crying and slobbering liquor that if he didn't bring me my cheese sauce for the sticks I would flip out and maybe not ever recover. I felt the need in my inebriated state to fill him in on my boyfriend's most recent infractions. PoorPizzaGuy felt so badly for me that he showed up with the Cheese Sticks, a whole pizza boy full of Cheese Sauce, and a get-well soon card that he had everyone at Papa John's sign for me...and it was all free! One of the nicest gestures from a stranger ever, but the worst Valentine's Day over all. *

This year The BoyFriend (not College Ex! He's been gone for over a decade now), we did agree to go to dinner on Saturday night at Sitar and if any of our friends would like to go with us they are more than welcome to go, too. I look forward to the night. I think it will be a pleasant evening with him and our friends. I'll give him his card. He'll like it. He'll appreciate it and so will I. **
* like a love sick fool, I took him back two days later. It ended finally a few years later. Things wouldn't end if they didn't end badly.
** The BoyFriend is one of the most appreciative people on the planet. He really is one of the world's last true gentlemen. He was raised well! I'm lucky to call him The BoyFriend.


Bethie said...

"If some things didn't end badly, some things would never end," are some of the wisest words I ever heard from Mr. X. Nothing like a good cheesy Papa John's disaster story!

I'm The Chez said...

I was absolutely heartbroken that evening of the PJ cheese sticks. I was even more so at the end of the relationship. However, it's damn funny to look back on now. I'm sending out some good karma to that poor pizza boy right now.

Melissa said...

That is a horrible VD story, but cheers to Papa John's!!! That is awesome! I've never been a big fan of their pizza, but I might just have to order one soon in appreciation.

Have a great time tomorrow! You and TheBoyfriend are a great couple. The parking ticket V-Day card is fabulous! He is one of the good ones.